Lexie

Hello!  This is Lexie, the daughter of the burned diva "Foxy Roxy" speaking... or writing, rather... anyway, I wanted to tell you all how I feel about having a burn survivor for a mother.  She had me after she was burned, so I never saw her before the day it happened.   Therefore, I see the burns as a normal part of her.  When I see pictures of my mom before she got burned, she had flawless skin, and she absolutely loved to show off her legs.  I'm sure she gets a little self-conscious when people stare at her, but my mom made it a point not to let her deformities get the best of her.  I see right through her burns and take note of what's under the skin graphs, because a person's character is more important than their looks.  I love my mom so much, and I'm really lucky to have such a strong, free-spirited mother. :)

Having a bad day

I saw my ex yesterday.  I don't know why, but the entire time we were together, I never felt the need to talk to him about being a burned survivor.  It seemed like the only thing I wanted to vent to him about was my job.  He always accepted me just the way I was.  I can't remember a time he tried to change me.  I couldn't see it then, but now that I think of it, if I wasn't complaining about my job, I was complaining about my weight.  Funny thing, I'm not over weight.  Not sure why I made these my issues.  Guess it was easier not having to discuss my scars.  During our courtship, he was always so happy go lucky.  It was hard for me to understand why he was so happy all the time.  Laddies, believe it or not, he too was burned as a child.  But not in the same capacity as me.  Boiling water scaled his right arm.  I recall asking him early on in our relationship why it was so easy for him to accept me.  That's when he showed me his arm.  We both laughed together.  Two burn-ups!  LoL! 

I never truly took the time out to deal with being a burn survivor.  I got pregnant the very next year after the accident.  Though it wasn't planned, it was a major distraction for me not to face or deal with what had happened to me.  My daughter is my world, but now that she's a teenager and getting ready for High School, she doesn't need me as much.  I'm left to face my own demons.  I call them that because it still flows through my veins.  I should be so thankful for so much.  What would I have to be sad about?  I turn to you because I hope to find peace of mind as I process this & hope that somehow I can find some sort of closure.  One step, two, or maybe three.  As many steps as it takes, I hope to make it there. 

This is my body now...has been for the past 15yrs.  I posted a bikini picture because I thought it was a good idea for you other burn survivor divas out there see that I do expose myself while on vacation.  I don't feel the need to hide.  I don't want to hide.  Or am I feeling the need to prove something?  While I'm in the moment of exposing my burned body wearing a bikini, it's almost like I'm forcing myself that nothing happened to me, that nothing is wrong & I'm just as normal as anyone else walking around me. 

I think that's all I'm gonna post for now.  I won't lie if i said seeing my ex doesn't bring back memories.  Divas, just know that there are men just like him out there who will accept you for your burns & look completely past your scars.  You must believe in yourself before anyone else can believe in you. 

Until next time my Burn Survivor Divas! 

All about Burn Survivor Divas

Hello my BURN DIVAS!  My name is Roxanne.  Finally, I decided it was time for me to reach out after 15yrs!  I sure hope this isn't offensive, because this blog is for all you burn galls out there finding it hard to cope with your beautiful scars!  I'm here to tell yah...., life will get better!  A year after my ordeal I gave birth to a baby girl who is now a 14 y/o teenager. I was burned in March of 1995.  I was asked at that time to advocate surviving burns by my physical therapist.  She wanted me to return to the hospital & talk to a female teenager who had just gotten burned. I thought to myself, "HUH!"  How can I motivate someone else when I haven't figured out for myself how I will cope with my own scars! I didn't know what to say & on top of that, I wasn't ready to be the voice for those who had none.  


I recall one day when I was in the step down unit, my brother came to visit me.  He walked into my room and found me holding a hand held mirror, crying.  He said, "You're not going to look like that forever."  I couldn't digest it at the time because I felt like I looked like a monster & thought that's exactly how the world would see me.  People can be cruel, but you must find a way to look above that.  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder ladies!  After eight months or so, I decided that I was going to get my swagger back!  I went to the nail salon and had a pedicure & a full set of nails put on.  Yes, I told myself that I was a DIVA before the burns & that I will remain a DIVA after the burns.  Of coarse, we all know, "EASIER SAID than DONE."  Eventually, grooming myself made me feel better inside.  It gave me sense of hope.  Rather than focussing on people staring, I decided to focus on what else I could do to make myself feel better.  


Ok, that's all I have for now.  Feel free to share your  surviving burn stories with me.  Even if you're  a spouse/friend/mother/father/sister/brother etc.... to someone who is in the hospital now being treated for burns or have been burned for years.  Don't be shy.  I created this for US, so that you have an outlet to vent!  True, I did receive tons of mail from people all over the United States, I did not know of anyone online advocating burn survivors!  It starts with one person.  You're not alone!